Sneer

Dentist Pavlik died suddenly. He was so untimely dissmissed form the ranks of living. His demise in disguise of heart attack came and laid him in a 6 feet deep cavity of a grave with claish gums. Shit! he was only thirty8.
He died that very same day i came to see him about my teeth reeking with decay. My mouth was filled with stinking breath inside which above tounge swelled with puss hang sagging palate.
Been afraid of dentists all my life. Those who never had a drill caress their gums with bashful smiles bump against rotten stumps, know shit about DRRRRRRRRRRRRRRill!
In his office there was this comfy fotel i sat in, streched my legs. The interior of his office was swelled with smells of detergents.
Dr. Pavlik: Uhm gonna fix your smile...pearly smile...Hollywood shine.
I : How much its gonna cost me?
Dr. Pavlik: Eleven grand.
Dr. Pavlik asked me to open this foul-hole of my mouth to numb a molar he said he was going to save. he put on latex gloves smelling like wetflour, and reached so deep inside my mouth that i gaged.
Dr. Pavlik: O!right...letS numb this foul- smelling hole...
His round, clean shaven, cold face splashed against my popping with stress eyes, his odorless breath rippled my taunt face.
A young broad tanned so much that her complexion was that of a moldy bark of a sick tree came in, around the fotel, holding a needle and a smile. Both sterilized.
She started humming a tune while the sharp needle squirted out fluid and transparent aphasia.
I jerked.
Dr. Pavlik: Oh, come on...donT be afraid.
The yellowed faced assistantee fanned my face while Dr. Pavlik numbed the molar. Her breath was scented with chemicals. Maybe it was the mouthwash he rinsed her mordant teeth after brushing her teeth with Dr. PavlikS ... .
Dr. Pavlik: Ok!...letS wait...until...
Dr. Pavlik: It shouldnT take longer than...and...i think.
The broad with the complexion of a sick tree patted me on my back.
When i was a kid i lied to my mother and fixed my already then cavitated smile with sweet chewing gum. All those cavities were like ants that scattered more decay all over my teeth.
Dr.Pavlik: Is it numbed?
I: Yes..it is...
He picked up a drill and...Shit! Jaw ripping pain fleed to the Pulp Chamber.
Dr. Pavlik: Medicine...dentistry in particular is so advansweat nowadays...it souldnT hurt so much...
I groan/moan/ am about to roar when the yellowed faced assistantee starts singing.
I feel neurons inside my head with wilted with fear brain, bursting with pain.
ThereS no teeth inside the brain. Imagine! Molars in Medulla Oblongata, Inciors in Pons, Canines in Cerebellum, and Premolars in Frontal lobe. Imagine! you could have heard toughts chatter and prattled and grind images right behind your eyes.
OH MY! .....the pain...rootcanal...fuck this!! since dentistry is so advansweat i want my toe nails transplanted in my gums. I'd'em polished and paint and forever had clean, shiny, manicured smile.
Dr. Pavlik:...almost done...donT move...donT close your mouth...
Dr. Pavlik: Done!
I'm still numbed. I get off the fotel, but the pain is still sitting there, dosenT want to leave.
I'm in the reception room waiting for the yellow faced broad to come so i can pay her and leave When,
as if somebody dropped a bomb in the office something hit the floor sending a shudder, the entire place quaked . It was the body of Dr. Pavlik hitting the ground. The broad is wailing.
Well, I am still numbed but can feel the right corner of my upper lip raise...sneer at such an untimely dimise of Dr. Pavlik.


The Painting

She was the last one to come in to the classroom. All the other students were sitting in a circle in the middle, busy looking over their notes, correcting papers, talking in hashed whispers. They did not even noticed a small figure dressed in a green sweater and blue-light jeans of a girl with beautiful face framed in black curls streaming down her back,and green eyes sparkling with defiance. Jenny walked in and, noticing an unoccupied chair by the window, she went over and took a seat. The two tall windows couldnT be open because of two cocoons swarming with hornets outside. She didnT like this classroom, nor any other. All were exactly the same. Whitewashed brick bare walls, yawning cracks, red linoleum floors , gloomy looking blackboards, confided her in this educated ugliness. And it was hot inside.
When the green door with a small window opened, and prof. R.'s tall, thin figured clod in ever the same beige curdory jacket, blue shirt, and black dockers appeared, the students stopped talking and greeted the prof.R with a barely audible "Hello". Prof. R. strutted his stuff towards his desk.
He put down his brown-leather bag bulging out with books and papers. He sat behind the wooden desk whose surface was scarred with only too familiar insults whose deep cuts in the wood bore testimony of hatred for prof. R. strict and too demanding standards he had set up for all who ever hoped to pass his course. Communication 401.
When the class began Jenny was glad for not sitting close to this elder man whose cadaverous, hallowed-eyed face with sucked in cheeks and thin colorless mouth reminded her of a washed ashore dead fish. His hands wore transparent gloves of cold, damp sweat.
She never participated nor volunteer in any of the class discussion, knowing that others looked down on her just because she never even tired to became a part of any crowd, least of all of this college pack. She was thought to be the freak, the misfit, always by herself.
Again and again the same voices of the same few students answered the question and seemed to battle for more space to voice their bullshit knowledge.
Jenny wasnT listening. She was looking out the window where the spring paraded in her fabously colorfull dress, scenting the air with sweet, jenny imagined it to be soft pink, smell of floweres waking up in their beds with freshly turned out earth.
"Jenny", she heard her name called out by prof.R,"and what do you think about it?".
"I am sorry...but i wasnT listening", she said bluntly, staring at prof. R's cadaverous, taut face stadded with beads of sweat.
"We have been discussing the importance of skilfull communication, and as we all have agreed, it is indispensable in having a satisfactory relationship with others...by satisfactory i mean fulfilling..." A drop of sweat like a stirred leach began descending prof. R, tall, furrowed with wrinkles brow, hang on his caterpillar eyebrow and dived into his right eye with a dilated pupil floating on its watery surface.
"Communication...", repeated Jenny to herself as she glanced around the room, meeting blank, mocking faces of other students,"...it all depends on what i want others to know...i think that language can express a lot in terms of ideas...intellectual concepts...but there are feelings that have their own vocabulary of gestures that sometimes render the expressive power of language impotent."
"impotent you say." said prof.R, reaching for a napking inside his pocket of his jacket and tapping on his red eye in which the drop of sweat dissolved, stinging his vision.
She could feel thirty eyeballs boring into her.
" Thank you, Jenny." said prof.R, "does anyone would like to add anything?"
"Well, I think...", it was one of those few voices she knew and yet didnT want to put a tag of a face. She began feeling uncomfortable.
Suddenly, she felt a cramp take a bite out of her stomach, she curled up on her seat, holding herself in half, feeling the cramp loosen its grip only to climb her ribs and stub her heart with piercing pain. She felt the pain now spreading all over her body until she couldnT breath.
Tumbling over chairs, tripping over backpacks she dashed out of the classroom, leaving behind gangoozeld students and prof.R. blinking his deep set, watery eyes in total confusion.
She run down the long hallway, taking two steps at a time, she scaled down the stairs, throwing her body against white doors, almost knocking them out of their wooden frames, outside into a warm, comforting embrace of sun and gentle breeze that kissed her face.
She looked around, looking for a spot to sit down and calm herself. The pain was gone, but her body still throbbed at the memory of this "voluptuous" stranger that had come from nowhere and knocked the breath out of her.
She saw a bench on a purple rug of petals that fell from a tree after fresh green broke out of the buds. She went over to it and sat down. She streched her legs, spreading her arms wide apart, taking a deep breath that felt like a sip of cold water.
She sat there for quite awhile until she remembered that she left her bag and brushes in the classroom. Slowly she rose up and walked back in to get her stuff. Inside the building the hallways felt like a behive swarming with so many bodies and voices.
There were other students she didnT know in the class. Those were the diligents students, ambitious students, studious and smart, always nice and forever fake. She looked at them with such a defiance in her eyes that if they could only read her look they would have known how doomed they were trying in vain to bribe life with their diligence and ambitions and studies that would take them all like a peasant takes his herd to a pasture to grease, inside cubicles in which their life would shrink to a pathetic tragedy. she grabbed her bag that she found laying on top of the wooden desk stained with fingerprints of prof.R's cold, damp hands. she left the classroom thinking of how useless was all that education which she had found to be manufactured in schools which like factories produced brainless goons with "deep" thoughts.
She almost run to her painting studio situated in the back of the building. There, in front of a white, taut surface of a canvass, she found herself reciting Rilke's poem she had copied long time ago and carried in her bag: "
May what i do flow from me like a river,
no forcing, no holding back, the way it is with children
."
She checked her brushes to make sure that they had been thoroughly washed, opened seven tubes with paint letting colors slowly snake out onto a palatte. She picked a brush and twirled the tip in red. she touched the canvass, the first touch always intimidating but also exciting, soon she crossed the threshold of that dimension in which images came to her bringing on silver trays colors they wanted to wear. time stopped.
She wasnT done painitng when she put down the brush to see how the painting looked/felt from the viewerS distance. it showed far in the distance a range of volcanos wearing plums of smoke of different colors, luscious green carpeted a strech of red earth between volcanos and a golden river with gently sloping banks studded with precious gems and a beautiful, tall, red-hair woman wearing a transparent gown in the middle of the river, holding what looked like a leash with a dwarf at the end with an eyeball instead of a head.
She liked it, but there was still a lot of work to be done. She was about to stepped up to the painting to figure how...when suddenly, she almost fainted, the woman beckoned her to come...she turned around...no,no, it was too much...but then, there she was...smiling and with her left hand out for her to come...Jenny approached the painting, at the same time hesitantly extending her hand towards the smiling woman...Jenny took her hand and stepped inside her painting...the warm golden water was gently breaking apart against her legs...the dwarf with an eyeball for a head blinked at her... she looked towards the volcanos with their colorful plumes of smoke slowly moving...


He

Early morning. Daylight leaks thru a roof of clouds, golden drops of light fall into a pond of a green, sparsely furnished room in which naked man sits in a chair by a bed, smoking a cigarette, contemplating a sleeping woman and her naked flesh. She is nestled in warm folds of bedsheets scented with sex.
the man is aroused by the memory of last nightS perverse darkness that released him and her from all bodily and mental inhibitions. sex to him was the most eloquent gesture that expressed his mingled with confusion and shame but also pride and conceit his enormous lust for life he could quench in giving himself away to this sleeping woman. he abhorred and despised men and women whose cravings and longings were shackled to their wither with dry fucking genitals, who thought themselves to be perverse just because they smeared they mugs with cum and pissed into their wide open mouths. he could never imagine to dirty this sleeping womanS face with ...
a face that he would be kissing soon, a face that looked at him with trust and respect.
he took a drag, blowing bluish smoke that coiled into transparent shapeless form and slowly disappeared. he felt disgust rise its hideous face at the passing thought of others turning their faces into napkins satined with cum, piss, and shit, the thought passed thru his mind leaving behind deep footprints of such an intense distaste, he leaned forward and put his hand on the sleeping womanS belly heaving like a sea. it felt warm and soft.
half of her face was veiled in black shining hair, slim white shoulders he thought he would crush, holding them from behind as thou her body was a continent he was afraid to be torn away, round, full breast topped with hard nipples lay on her corset of body, long smooth legs were slightly spread showing black stripe of hair between.
-sheS beautiful, the man says quietly to himself.
she was so much different form all the other women the man had slept with before. she was the only one that turned her body into a sort of a gate festooned with her soft, warm voice, beyond which he has found another dimension of sex in which he met his selves.
he remembered her face while her body was ruptured by waves of orgasm crushing with loud, long moan against the shores of night.
her face, the undescrible expression of pain and ecstasy it wore , has become his own.
the woman turned around, brushing her black hair off her face, beautiful and "clean".
-hi, she said, smiling,
he put out the cig. Went over to the bed. "Hi", he said, laying down next to her.


Half/hour

It's a wedding_i work as a caterer.
-hey,Ayoub, how much longer to the end of this bullshit ? i ask a piss-ugly, hyperactive, mentally screwed-up Arab.
he dosenT say anything_he gapes at me_he grins like a cheshire cat_his face twitches_he blinks his bung eyes_he jerks his head forward_he shoots up the whites_claps his hands_jumps_spins around_stops.
-half/hour, he spits it out_salivates_long spittle he flings around his neck like a scarf and darts away into dense crowd of drunken guests swaying,trembling,rocking,shaking on the dance floor sunk in a carpet which like a lawn has been fertilized with stinking feet, gobs of spit, dipterous insects, sweat and puke.
-half/hour, i repeat to myself as i limp back like a beaten dog to a dark corner where by a tall, arched window painted black by the night outside, my disgust and despair has built a doghouse draped in futility, misery, and slavery.
i have been slaving away another day_12 hours_for a fucking pittance_720 minutes of exhausting,debilitating, life-annihilating drudgery_3700 seconds of lying, acting, and pretending.
during the cocktail hour i couldnT bear the sight of a roasted pig with distended stomach_the pig gaped with black, burnt, incrusted with yellow lard holes for eyes at the fat, smeared with blood and spittle faces of guests_the pig held between its black stumps a lemon_there was also a prosciutto tree about 2 feet tall with transparent slices of meat which were like pages torn out from some book written by manS gross gulosity_plates piled up high with meat poisoned with fear_animals slaughtered to be shitted out.
that was before_now, iAM in the ballroom_a humongous interior lighted up with 12 huge crystal chandeliers made out of thousand of frozen beads of sweat_walls dappled with shadows of a faceless multitude_silhouettes of lives irrevocably wasted in alcoholism gluttony greed avarice stupidity_the guests fumble among slim-legged tray stances with silver dumping balls which like open skulls shamelessly exposed the content of their brimful with unbearable waste minds.
iVE been serving 12 monsters without eyes_without mouths_without ears_with dilated toothless hairy assholes impaled on stiff spines with hemorrhoids for tongues they reach for and lick and suck in raw meat.
iAM bleeding with sticky stinking sweat.
my face is whipped/slashed/cut with rank breaths_daubed with orders and complaints.
my black tux is soaked in sweat gushing out form pores into shallow ponds fringed with salty satins under my armpits.
my feet stink_they reek with pain_a pair of black sneakers nests corns wrapped in foul smelling socks.
grotty, obese, slouching motherfucker waves me over to come to his table_i jerk my body forward_i hobble_i take out a note pad covered with caricatures i have drawn before.
-yes, sir, what can i get for you, i ask him with polite impatience.
-YEAH!, he belches out_Johnny Walker on the rocks
-yes,sir.
i turn around and slowly wobble to the bar which like turd is mobbed by a buzzing swarm of boozers.
i bring the drink back to his table and stagger back to the doghouse_invisible and yet so ominously present inside which half/hour is undressing herself painful seconds.
you may wonder, and rightly so, how come despite my being so tired and disgusted with this place_this job_these monsters i serve, i stand still in the corner looking down at the black carpet.
itS because i must pay the fucking rent_$900 to a couple of appallingly ugly and dismayingly stupid yokels only god knows from where since he has always been blamed for creating this world and its hellish populace_only god knows what scummy womb my landdeadlords were shitted out, wrapped up in slime and excrement stinking up my life.
i must pay for a place where i can wash and lay down my exhausted, aching with futility and slavery flesh_to rest only to bring it back to work to serve fake, disgust-disguising smiles to a horde of faceless, heartless, souless, mindless, lifeless puppets_to punch in and out the enslaving certitude of a morrow_
iAM tired_so unspeakably beaten_i start hallucinating.
i can see my disgust clothed in baudlerian red velvet jacket, strolling among a hundred or so cloned from hypocrisy lives that drag behind them drunken with guilt regrets_stoned with fixation neurosis_obese with sinful past sins_pale and famished with illusions experiences_i can see my disgust now caressing regretS_bleeding wounds with salty insults_shlunking in neurosis' convulsed face viscous aversion_patting sin' celluloid ass with holy perversity_spitting in experience wide open eyes cataractal curses.
SUDDENLY!! loud piercing crushing noise CRUSHBRAAMBOOMBINGCLANKBANG!!!!rents the thick with boredom and misery membrane of space. some caterer has dropped the tray: broken glass, chewedup/spatout oddments, bones, napkins dirtied with expression they wiped off painful to look faces_
the bosses are running_with vindictive looks peeling off their red with anger faces. they are whipping/lashing/flailing with commands the horde of shitless scared caterers who have flocked to clean this beautiful mess.
-YOU! YES YOU! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU STARING AT ! GET A MOP! CLEAN THIS FUCKING MESS UP!
-AND YOU! BRING ME A NAPKIN,RIGHT AWAY!
The caterers; fathers, mothers, daughters, sons, girlfriends and boyfriends_every and each one of them like a cheap, toothless whore afraid of her pimp-master runs to get mops, brooms, napkins and_one shit-faced brown-nose asks_and what else?_anxious and fearfull to fulfill the order which like a ziplles fuck was rammed into her frazzled asshole.
The caterers come to work every day_punctual and obedient as slaves can only be_some, though they may have a day off will still call in to make sure that the boss doesnT want to whip their faces with his limp-whim dick. others, after having their cold, listless, lifeless carcasses revived in front of flat like their lives tv screens_illusion spinning dvdS_come to work!
how repulsive!_appalling!_they are at work when they steal 10 seconds to puff a smoke_their lips always dry and cracked with silent curses_they keep throwing over their slopping shoulders fearfull glances_shitlessscared puppets_always and forever on the look out for their "masters".
But, now and here iAM one of them_but not like them !_NEVER_I put on the show, let all and sundry use me and abuse me_then,at "home"when i hatch myself out of this cocoon of stinking,dirty tux, i pick up a pen and mock and desecrate the slaves and their masters.
iAm tired_unspeakably so_begin hallucinating.
I see belches flying up like bats, bouncing off my numbed senses_halitosis swarming like hornets, stinging my face with stinking stings_jackals_reptiles_huge fat spineless crocodiles whriting_blind elephants with long fat trunks pierced with eyes_cross-eyed vultures_skinned cows pigs sheeps_headless owls and eyeless pigs_
SUDDENLY! the 12 huge crystal chandeliers are ablaze with jarring light that rips apart the cloth of imagination_the end of the bullshit party_the drunken crowd of guests like mud slowly flows back into shallow cracks of their wasted but satieted lives_they are gone!

Fluffhead

A bunch of guys in their mid30-s is sitting at the bar_it's an early afternoon outside_the interior is drown in edge-blunting semi-darkness_five low lamps are shedding dark yellow piss like faint glare_that's all the light in the bar_the green carpet stained with drunken steps is black_an ungodly ugly bartendees is wearing red dress_her greasy almost dripping with oil blond hair is pull back_she is gaping at the tube hanging down from a streaked with black ceiling.
one of the guy, a short skinny man with long nose and big beady eyes leans to another guy and...
- hey, jimmy, would you fuck this broad?
- are you fucking out of your mind...wouldnT fuck her with a stolen dick.
- why not ? wants to know the short skinny man with his big beady eyes moist with a fuck pulling on his long eyelashes _he is beaming on the broad behind a bar_he also knows that jimmy fucks pretty much everything that moves and dosenT run up a tree.
- why not, jimmy?
...another guy jimmy has been swapping yarns about his fucking spree...says,...
so i took her home...in the kitchen before i eagle spread the bitch i put four strawberries up in her ass...four fucking strawberries each the size of an apple. man...cum on her face while she was shitting those big red bubs...hahahahahahahahahaha!
he leans back in his stool with arms folded on his hairy chest and chuckles loudly lost in a reverie of a fuck and strawberries he remembers his wife ate later...